You may hear my husband occasionally refer to “the calendar.” If you talk to him about planning something with our crew, he’ll say "I'll check with the calendar." What he really means is that he'll be asking me. Ha. I’m sure many of you can relate—life gets busy.
Some time ago, when our kids were younger, I took pride in fitting the pieces of our schedule together perfectly. Each of our children had one chosen extracurricular activity, and our lives were full. Music, sports, community service, family time, worship, and church events were the themes of our week. Add in driving time through a big city, and I had almost every minute of each day planned. We were on a roll. I had it all organized and under control. I felt like I was on top of the world.
Until I wasn't.
The more packed our schedule became; the less time we had as a family and the less time we had for God. Checkboxes became the ruler. Convenience took the place of conscious presence. My soul separated from dependency on God. My head leaned into dependency on the calendar. My thoughts were drowning in the poison of "not good enough."
The weight of a busy life stretches the wrong areas. It's certainly challenging to step away from the allure of what a busy life promises. We feel pressured to make sure our kids participate in extracurricular activities and achieve the highest grades in school, so we seek out the tools to check those boxes. When homeschooling, co-ops, social groups, and field trips, added to the extras, can fill the week in no time.
When raising children, it’s easy to focus solely on producing good kids with a list of accomplishments a mile long. And the marriage suffers. A relationship with God suffers. Mental health suffers. What are we giving up in search of a full life? Are you seeking a full life or a fulfilling life?
If you find yourself too exhausted to think at the end of the day, it’s time to step back. If you feel overbooked and overwhelmed, it is time to contemplate. If you feel underappreciated and undercaffeinated, it is time to reevaluate. The following questions can help you begin to reset.
1. Whose motivation is driving the activity?
Take a moment to truly ponder on this one. Why are you pouring so much time and effort into it? Is this something that you or your children genuinely want to do? If it is an activity that the kids are involved in, do they really have the drive for it, or is it yours?
2. How big is your plate, really?
The popular expression is worth listening to: Do you have too much on your plate? We’re all designed with different-sized plates. When a plate is stacked too high with food, things begin to fall off. Walking through the line at a potluck is exciting, with all the treats tantalizing the tastebuds. But you know, at the end of the day, grab too much, and you’ll be rolling out to the car with digestive consequences later. The same is true for social plates. All the activities are attractive and exciting, but too much will have lasting consequences.
3. Where are your priorities?
Look at the budget of your time. It’s easy to find the record. Take some time to list what you did every day for the past week. What is the order of your list? What is receiving the bulk of your attention? Be honest. It might be sobering. It was for me.
4. Where is your rest?
God rested after six days of creation. He gave the Israelites one day each week to set aside for rest—the Sabbath. We are not mandated in the New Testament to set aside a day of rest, but it is an example we should heed. At a conference some time ago, I heard that we must intentionally protect the “white space” on our calendar. And, no, the drive from one event to another does not equal white space. Ha—I can attest that driving between activities does not bring rest!
Looking back at Jesus' visit to Mary and Martha's home in Luke 10, we can be reminded of the “good portion.” Jesus knows we are anxious and troubled about many things. His guidance is to remember the one necessary thing. Our children are watching us, and they know what we put first. What are you teaching through your example?
